As a little girl I was brought up knowing that Jesus is the Saviour and He died for our sins. I started reading the Bible at a very young age, I spent lots of time listening to Bible stories, and just became at home in the Bible. But as time went by I got to know God more on a personal level, and really find out who He is. I learned that He’s not just some judge who shakes His head at us when we don’t follow His rules. I got to know Him as a patient, actually loving God: a God who is crazy in love with us, and who just wishes nothing but the best.
There were times in life, especially in my teenage years, when I would experience God on different levels. One specific season was when I became depressed. I was dealing with anxiety, and was very suicidal. I just didn’t care anymore, because it felt like God was working against me and nobody seemed to understand me. I ended up in the hospital a couple times, I would hurt myself, and so often just wanted to end it. I just couldn’t take life anymore. The fact that I’m standing here telling my story is a miracle. God reached out and showed me who He really was. He did care, and looking back I know He was there every step of the way. When I cried at night, He was crying with me. When I wanted to end my life, He wouldn’t let me. He was there in my darkest times of life, caring for me, staying awake at night just to be with me, waking me up with a warm sunshine in the morning and letting me know that it’s another new day for me, and I can start over.
I love and trust Him so much, because He has and still proves to me, that He’s loyal, and He won’t just walk away from me. His crazy love is chasing me, regardless of all my failures. He is my hero, my dad, my go to, and my calm in the storm. In fact, it’s in the storm that I am going through now that I feel Him calling me to get baptized. I feel ready. I am doing this because I love Him, and it’s not because of tradition. It feels right to do it now, and to know that my life is all in God’s timing, and He has more, bigger plans ahead for me. Thank you Jesus!